Gone Forever or so it seems
by burberrybonnjie
Summary: 1st fanfic. hermione does something very OOC after a bad experience please r&r contains suicide
1. Prologue

Prologue  


Hermione Granger looked up at the stars as she sat on the windowsill of her Head Girl Dormitories. The night was clear, and a cold breeze had kept her awake. The stars twinkled in the moonlight and Hermione wished she had a camera to capture this stunning night. She sighed, and hoped somebody else was looking out at this spectacular evening, prepared with a camera. She looked down on the grounds, which looked amazing in the moonlight. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a strange black figure emerged from the Forbidden Forest. They were limping and obviously hurt, but Hermione did not wish to go down and see who it was, just in case a death eater got through the wards and somehow got injured on the way through. She got off her ledge and slowly retreated to her bedroom. She would tell Dumbledore about the stranger in the morning, she thought as she drifted off to sleep, unable to hear the dark shadows screams from her room.  
Severus Snape was badly injured when he returned to Hogwarts, and could hardly walk. He dragged himself through the forest, his limp arm dangling from its socket. He looked up and saw a lone figure leaning on a windowsill, looking down on him. He screamed for help, but the figure turned from there post and left. He screamed once more and fell to the ground, too exhausted and injured to move.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Lavender and Parvarti were talking at the Gryffindor table at breakfast over eggs and toast.  
"Oh My God did you hear about Snape? Apparently he almost died last night!"  
"NO WAY! How did he get in a state like that?" Lavender eagerly asked Parvarti. "Well I heard he was out trying to kill Professor Lupin." Hermione stirred as she remembered the dark figure on the grounds the night before.  
"Where was he?" Hermione knew that this was a bad omen, she should have gone down to help to poor man, and now Snape was near death.  
"Oh it was very hush-hush, but I heard that Hagrid found this huge pool of blood on the grounds by the east tower." Hermione's stomach turned as she realised what had happened.  
"Oh, I have to go see Dumbledore." Hermione ran from the Great Hall to the statue of the gargoyle in record speed.  
"Oh god, whats the password? Umm…Lemon Drops? Acid Pops? Liquorice Squares? Jelly Beans?" The gargoyle sprung forward to reveal a spiral of steps, which Hermione proceeded to run up. She barged through the door to find Professor Dumbledore pacing around his rooms, looking very anxious indeed.  
"Why, Miss Granger, what brings you to my office?" Dumbledore sincerely asked, as he offered Hermione a seat.  
"I see something is bothering you, care for a lemon drop? They are rather tasty." Dumbledore handed Hermione a box full to the brim with small, yellow candies.  
"No sir, I need to talk to you about Professor Snape. I, I saw something last night, and I think it was him sir." Hermione's hands were shaking as she told him about the encounter the night before.  
" …and I feel really bad because I heard he almost died last night. Is there anything I can do to help, in any way?" Her deep chocolate brown eyes were pleading, she needed some way to not feel guilty.  
"I am dreadfully sorry Miss Granger, but those rumours were not as true as they seem. Severus Snape did not nearly pass away last night, he did pass away. All he would have needed was a simple charm, but it was too late to do anything. I, I need some time to think. Good day Miss Granger" With those words Dumbledore ushered her out of his office and the door slowly closed behind her. His words rung in her ears all day "Severus Snape did not nearly pass away last night, he did pass away." Worst of all was having to go to potions last lesson. She had not told Harry or Ron about Snape, and almost cried at the fact that she could have saved his life. 'You could have saved him Hermione, but no…you had to go to sleep.' Hermiones thoughts were ravaging her mind, but to no avail, the time came when she had to face t he dungeons.  
  
Hermione met up with Harry and Ron in the common room, and slowly they went down to the dungeons.  
"Hey 'mione, are you ok? Its just you look a little, well you know, depressed." Ron tried to be subtle, but to no avail.  
"Oh Ron, I'm ok, its just I'm not feeling too good, Don't worry about it." She walked a little faster, hoping that that deep, obsidian eyes would greet her, not a strangers empty ones.  
"COOL!" Ron shouted with glee as he saw that Snape was not coming to classes, and that all Potions lessons were cancelled until further notice.  
"No potions, well maybe the greasy git found out that everyone hates him and decided to leave. Or maybe he was turned into a cauldron by you-know-who." Harry was ecstatic at the news of no potions. Hermione however, was edgier than ever.  
"Harry its rude to call him that. He taught us so much, we wouldn't have been able to do half the stuff we have done without him." She stormed off and nobody bothered to follow her.  
"Jeez whats her problem?" Ron looked confused; Hermione never acted this way before. It was scaring him, what could make Hermione depressed and edgy all in one?  
"Maybe you know it's that time of the month, if you get what I'm saying. Or maybe she just got some bad news, maybe she got a exceeds expectations on one of her O.W.L.'s." Harry was scared too, nothing made Hermione this edgy, he'd never seen her this moody and depressed.  
"Don't worry Hermiones too smart to do anything stupid. Shes got her whole life planned ahead of her. I don't think failing 7th year is on that agenda. Ron and Harry laughed and ran off to the quidditch pitch, eager to practise before the big game.  
Hermione slowly moved off from the corner that she was leaning on, they thought that she was ridiculous, they were laughing at her. They didn't even bother to check if she was alright. Nobody seemed to care about her these days. It had been months since her parents had written; her penpal had deserted her, and now her 2 best friends thought she was laughable. She was all alone, nobody loved her, but that was about to change. They would realise how much they needed her, but by then it would be too late. She smiled meekly as she ran off the Astronomy Tower. Everybody would realise how much she meant to them, but it would take a lot to make them see it.  
  
The wind blew in Hermiones face as she stood atop the Astronomy Tower, tears streaming down her face. Attached to her arm were 3 letters, one to Harry and Ron, one to Ginny and one to her parents. She looked around her one last time and put her foot out in front of her. She fell as if she was in slow motion and hit the ground with a deafening 'THUD'.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
"Welcome to Heaven Miss Granger. You shouldn't be in here you know, committing suicide and all, but your good deeds outweighed your bad." A silky voice awakened her from what seemed like a never-ending sleep. She slowly opened her eyes to find no other than Severus Snape standing above her.  
"Oh Professor I'm so sorry I didn't get help for you, please forgive me. I really didn't know it was you." Hermione jumped up and hugged the former potions master around his waist.  
"MISS GRANGER! Would you please get off me! If you never do that again I will gladly forgive you, now onto business."  
"Wait on, aren't the dead meant to be greeted by St Paul or something? Why are you here?" Hermione was confused; she wasn't really dead, was she. Then her last seconds of her life flashed in her mind.  
" No Miss Granger, I am here to show you what happened after your leap from the Tower. I'm just your escort, stuck with you forever and a day." He took her hand and led her towards a pensieve.  
"Miss Granger this here allows you to see your nearest and dearest after your sad demise. Just dip your head in and it will allow you to see Harry and Ron." Hermione slowly dipped her head in the silvery substance and felt as if she was sucked in by the force of the liquid.  
"THUD!" Hermione stood next to the body of her old self, looking around to see if anyone was coming.  
"Oi Ron, what was that?" Hermione heard a familiar voice coming from the quidditch pitch. Two boys raced towards her limp body on their broomsticks, looking for signs of life.  
"Oh my god…Harry, is that who I think it is? It can't be, its not…" Ron looked stunned as he landed close to her now lifeless body.  
"Ron she must have been pushed, it's the only explanation. I bet it was Malfoy. I'll go get Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey" Hermione sniggered to herself as Harry raced off to get Madam Pomfrey. Ron stepped toward Hermiones limp body and began to cry. She never expected this, she didn't know he liked her that much. Harry quickly returned with Madam Pomfrey and Dumbledore.  
""Come on Ron, let's go get you some calming draught. Sir, is she, I mean, was she pushed?" Harry asked Dumbledore sadly.  
"No Mr Potter she was not pushed and she did not slip. She did this herself. Now go off and get that calming draught." Dumbledore turned away from them and slowly began to whisper to Madam Pomfrey. But he quickly turned around and calmly whispered to the two distraught boys.  
"Oh and boys don't tell anyone yet, I don't think they will be ready for this."  
Hermione was nearly in tears when Severus pulled her out of the pensieve.  
"Sir, don't make me go in there anymore. Its too hard, I can't go back in there. Please, professor, don't make me go in there again." Hermione pleaded with the professor.  
"I'm sorry Miss Granger, but you must go back in there or be forced to wander the halls of Hogwarts as a ghost. I had to go through this too, now it's not too bad. Let's go on to your funeral Miss Granger, and see what people have to see about you.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
Hermione took Severus' hand and slowly prepared herself for the torment of the pensieve. She felt the familiar tug of her face and she dragged Severus down to a small little cemetery in the country.  
"Oh god professor, it's the family lot." She pointed out a small fenced in graveyard a few metres away.  
"But why are we over here? The lots over…oh god, they can't bury me in the lot! Oh this is horrible! Why can't I be in the lot like the others? Why didn't mum and dad put me in the family lot?" Hermione looked shocked and saddened by her parent's decision to move her out of the lot. Severus looked over at her, equally shocked at her statement.  
"Miss Granger, you're funeral wasn't prepared by your parents. Didn't you know about what happened to them?" Seeing the look on her face, he presumed Dumbledore hadn't told her. He didn't want to be the one to break it to her.  
"Err, umm, Miss Granger, Dumbledore didn't tell you? Oh of course not. Well, I didn't want to be the one to tell you, but your parents, well, they were killed by You-Know-Who." He took Hermiones hand in his and walked her toward the congregation. Hermione saw Ron, Harry, Ginny, Neville and Luna sitting in the front row, crying quietly. She looked around further and saw her professors sitting behind her remaining family. The priest looked very annoyed, as if this funeral was going to weigh him down for life. She felt sad as the funeral began. Neville and Ron stood up and talked, but none of her family stood to talk. She began to cry as her casket was dropped into the hole and covered with dirt. She was gone, no coming back now. It was then that the realisation hit her that she would never had children, or be married, or live to be very old and knit things for her grandchildren. Severus slowly wrapped his arms around her and let her sob in his arms. It seemed like an eternity before she let go and slowly whimpered  
"Lets go back now Miss Granger, we still have things to see." She felt the tug of the pensieve and found herself back on the heavenly plains.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
"Why didn't he tell me? Why?" Yet again she felt herself sobbing in her professors arms. He seemed very uncomfortable with the situation so she let go quickly.  
"Well what do I have to see now? Haven't I seen enough yet? Can I go home?" She wanted to go back, she wanted to become a ghost and see her friends forever and ever, to look after their children, and their grandchildren. Severus gave her one of his trademark glares before scowling at her.  
"Miss Granger, I believe you have seen enough. But now you have a very hard decision to make. I hope you make the right choice, as this is very important." He looked at her with hope in his eyes and began to speak again.  
"You have to choose; do you want to live, or do you want to die?" Hermione looked horribly shocked and horrified at the choice.  
"WHAT! YOU WANT ME TO CHOOSE! THATS HORRIBLE!" She began to slap him and kick him in the groin.  
"Miss Granger, there are conditions to this choice. If you choose to live; you must live with me and never see your friends again. Your parents will remain dead and you can never see Potter or Weasly again or get in contact with them. Should you choose to remain dead; your parents will be revived, You can stay in heaven and you can do whatever you like up here. That includes being in contact with 2/3 of the Golden Trio." Hermione stood tall and left her teacher alone in pain.  
"Please, never ever do that again Miss Granger" he said wincing in obvious pain and agony.  
"Now are you ready to make your decision. Your life, your parents and mine all lie in the balance of your decision." Hermione stood forward and said solemnly  
"I've made my decision professor. I've decided to….."


End file.
